Beverly and Ryan

Growing up in idyllic circumstances on the East Coast, where all her neighbors were like family members and her mother home-schooled her, Beverly feared the worst when her parents divorced and she moved to Long Island with her mother. But her fears of being ostracized at public school were misplaced. Instead, the girls fought to be her friend. All went well until her mother broke her back in a work accident and they moved to rural North Carolina to be near friends. There, however, middle schoolers were all consumed with sex, drugs and gangs. She hid out in the library and eventually dropped out.

She moved around the country then, living with an uncle’s family in Arizona, then Florida to be with a step-father. There she fell in love and had two children. After a break up, she took a job as a live-in governess to four children in Hawaii. But the devil was in the details, and the job advertised as 20 hours a week demanded 40 hours, and the father was less than communicative. So she moved to San Diego to be with a friend.

The high cost of living tore through her finances quickly. With her daughter safely residing in Florida, Beverly could focus on the needs of her son Ryan. Dealing with his ADHD made it near impossible to find day care for him. She has tried to stay true to her nutritional beliefs, including a vegan diet, favoring raw fruits and vegetables, which helps keep Ryan’s ADHD in check. She’s passionate about natural health and would like to find a job farming or own a piece of land where she could grow their food and sell some.

They have lived in every homeless shelter in San Diego, some of them twice. She struggled with depression and fatigue. “The shelters think they are doing something for you, with all their paperwork and case workers,” she said. “But the staff is demeaning, they pit residents against each other, they drive you out.” She said the worst encounter was a homeless family case worker for the city who kept asking questions like, “Why did you have kids? You know you’re not a good person bringing kids into this world?” ignoring the fact she was in a happy relationship when the kids were born. Beverly doesn’t hold it against him though. “He probably hates his job. I don’t wish him ill, but it bothers me he’s earning a living wage beating down on others.”

Her best shelter experience was at Cortez Hill where she and Ryan were treated like family. It gave her confidence, helped her stand taller and make eye contact. Also, the program with Interfaith that allowed them to stay at a shelter for a total of eight weeks, was supportive. She has high praise for both those programs and their staffs.

During the second stay at Cortez Hill she cobbled enough money to buy a van. She can keep their belongings together, and move about to look for work. They adopted the smallest dog at the animal shelter. Lila, a wiry lap dog, has brought them unspeakable joy. “We take her to dog parks to socialize her with other dogs, but ironically, people who wouldn’t have talked to us otherwise, will come talk to us, just as fellow dog owners,” Beverly said.

Beverly knows things will change for them some day. She’s confident Ryan will be a kind, generous person because of his life experience. “He’s going to be the most compassionate person on earth, treating all people kindly, because he’s been there.”